Preface to

The Truth was Different

One Woman’s Journey Through World War 2

To be published in November, 2026

The Hypothesis

Most people think they’re rational, and their actions are justified. Therefore, when I began this book, I formed a hypothesis, an educated guess, if you like. Despite what those who read Unforgivable: Through a Child’s Eyes might think, my grandmother, known as ‘Rita’ in this book, didn’t believe that she was a cold-hearted and even cruel woman. I only met her a handful of times, but to evaluate this theory, I would have to, as it were, crawl into Rita’s mind. The research skills acquired during my scientific career proved very helpful in my quest to ascertain whether the truth was indeed different.

Background Reading

Before performing research, competent scientists read and evaluate the peer-reviewed literature. Rita was an author. Therefore, I acquired and read her five now out-of-print books. They were all written in Dutch, which brought its own set of challenges. But how rewarding! As I read, I noticed that some passages went into far greater depth than others, and several incidents appeared in more than one book. Could it be that she, like most authors, was drawing from lived experience?

Autobiographical Books

De Werkelijkheid was Anders (The Reality was Different) is Rita’s memoir, a work of self-declared nonfiction. In it, Rita recounts her experiences during World War 2 in the Netherlands. She changed all the names, many relationship details, and some of the places, but reports her actions, thoughts, and feelings in a devastatingly honest and courageous fashion. Maybe she attempted to disguise the characters because many of them were still alive when the book was published, or perhaps it was simply to protect herself. From the title, one can surmise that the purpose of De Werkelijkheid was Anders was to vindicate, or at least explain, her actions.

De Gesloten Deur (The Locked Door) purports to be a fictional account of a businessman who has an extramarital affair with someone not much older than his daughter. Knowing Rita’s family history led me to question whether this book might be partly autobiographical. After careful analysis, I noticed that the businessman shares Rita’s father’s birthday and physical attributes. The fictional wife’s name is remarkably similar to Rita’s mother’s; her behavior is identical to what was reported about her in a book by performer Willy Corsari. The fictional mistress has no living mother and shares the initials (L.B.) with Rita’s father’s second wife. And those who knew Rita and her brother, Hans, have given me to understand that the personalities of the businessman’s teenage children are virtually identical to those of Rita and Hans. It’s not difficult to imagine that incidents from Rita’s young life inspired parts of De Gesloten Deur.

Other Books

In Zij (She), Rita details the gradual descent of the main character, Annette, from innocence into unethical behavior. The subsequent portrayal of her struggle with guilt feels all too real. The story also includes a scene in which Annette helps a friend through the aftermath of a surgical procedure and an account of her grief when another friend goes to jail. Both incidents have parallels in Rita’s life. Finally, it wasn’t a stretch to realize that Annette’s impressions of Brazil are actually very like what Rita doubtless thought of the Belgian Congo. Certainly, her description of homesickness rings true. My analysis revealed that Zij contains much that was drawn from Rita’s life.

Overspel (Adultery) and De Sterkste en Andere Verhalen (The Strongest and Other Tales), while more fictional, also contain nuggets that I suspect were inspired by Rita’s experiences, feelings, and thoughts. In Overspel, the mother laments that she’d been more successful in her professional life than with her child, who really didn’t like her. Rita was observant, analytical, and brilliant. She doubtless knew what her kids thought of her. Both books contain vivid portrayals of extreme grief and depression, which is hardly a surprise, given that Rita was a woman of deep feelings whose life was full of unbearable pain.

Research

After this thorough analysis, it was time to determine the identities of the various characters who are thinly disguised in De Werkelijkheid was Anders and De Gesloten Deur. Who were the relatives with three daughters, the youngest of whom was Rita’s best friend? Just who was the family that Rita’s husband lodged with? Who were the people Rita considered her substitute parents? When and how did Rita’s Jewish relatives die? Who betrayed them? Who was her boss, and where did she work in Zeist? For this, MyHeritage.com, various Internet searches, and my newly discovered distant cousin Rosita Olivier’s expert research proved extremely useful. But why, oh why, did so many of my relatives name their children after their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and deceased siblings? After much hair-pulling and head-spinning, many of the people were identified. Those where I was forced to use a fictional name are identified in Appendix 1 with an asterisk.

Interviews

Next, I spoke with those who knew Rita more intimately than I. Her two daughters-in-law, Hetti Evenblij and Meta Evenbly, were very helpful, as was my cousin, Cilia Evenblij. One of my favorite repeat encounters was with Irma O’Connor-Wallig, whom I hadn’t met before but who gave me a great deal of extremely valuable information about her father, Hans Wallig. I also thoroughly enjoyed meeting and corresponding extensively with Rosita Olivier, genealogist extraordinaire, who came up with much that elevated this book from good to great (IMHO).

Historical Research

Rita was born in 1908 in a place and during a time very distant from here and now. She saw the Great War, the 1918 Influenza pandemic, and World War 2 in the Netherlands. She lived while the East Indies were colonized by the Dutch and the Congo by Belgium. She witnessed the advent of widespread automobile and airplane use. Suffice it to say that much historical research was needed, and this scientist spent many hours learning history so that it would come to life for my readers.

So Much Editing

Those who’ve persisted in reading this far may have noticed that most of the research was conducted before the writing phase of this project. That’s pretty consistent with what should happen in science. Good scientists never write their results before finishing their research! Even then, writing biographical nonfiction never goes smoothly. As happens in science, when the results are surprising, further research is often necessary. In the end, after numerous edits, help from beta readers, and solicitation of reviews (scientists call that peer review), The Truth was Different was ready.

The Surprise

The surprise for me was that, as I got to know Rita, I went from being slightly ashamed of being related to her to seeing much that I have in common with her. Even more, I became grateful and proud to be this amazing and courageous woman’s granddaughter. There’s no doubt that the truth was different.