Teaching Tales: Sex and More

It was time to tackle the reproductive system—including sex. The textbook started with external anatomy, but I suspected the students would know this. I elected to avoid the guffaws that would accompany the labeling of a penis on the screen. Instead, starting with the internal anatomy, I eventually discussed how things can go wrong.

 Sexually Transmitted Infections

I knew that students are instructed in “safe sex”, but may not have been told that condoms don’t prevent many of the incurable sexually transmitted infections (STI). Since over 50% of the sexually active population will have Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) at some time in their lives, 20% have Herpes, nearly 4% have Chlamydia, and more have Trichomoniasis, not to mention a variety of other infections, I felt it essential to lay out the facts.

Halfway through the lecture, there was an audible groan. “Oh, no!”

Several students tittered.

I stopped for a moment, waiting to see if there was a question. Finally, one came, but from the other side of the room.

“Dr. Crocker, are you sure about those numbers?” challenged a young man sitting toward the back.

“Yes, many of these statistics came from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) publications. The other facts are known, but not well-publicized.  Wearing a condom is better than not wearing one, but perhaps not good enough.”

He looked worried. “But these days most of the diseases are curable, right?”

Bad News

Honesty was essential. “If you know you have one, and 80% of the time people don’t, and it’s bacterial, then it’s usually curable. Unfortunately, many of these diseases cause infertility before they’re detected.” I had more bad news. “However, there’s no cure for a virus. If you get Herpes or HIV, it’s for life. Medications might control the symptoms, but they don’t get rid of the virus.”

The student groaned. “What a bummer!” This brought outright laughter from the rest of the students, but I suspect it summed up what most of them were feeling.

 Another Issue

After class, a rather diffident, slender, and delicate girl, Chuntao, approached me. Up until today, she’d never spoken to me, but sat curled up in her seat, her arms wrapped around her knees. I did wonder, at times, how she could balance in that position.

“Dr. Crocker, could I talk to you in private?”

“Of course, let’s go to the office and see if anyone is there.” I was glad to see the room was empty, and we went in.

“Um, could you close the door?” Chuntao asked, blushing.

Since the office was lined with windows, I figured this would be okay, so I did as she asked, sat down, and waited.

For a while, she just sat in front of me, fiddling with her backpack, never meeting my eyes. Finally, she spoke. “I haven’t told anyone, but I can’t take it any longer. I’m so scared. And now…well, now I guess I probably have an STI.”

Based on her daily garments, I was aware that her religion strongly prohibits pre-marital sex, so I probed gently. “Why? Do you have a symptom?”

By a Stranger

“No, no, I don’t think so. But…well, last month, I was on my way home from work…I work as a teller at Safeway…and someone jumped out of the bushes…” Here she covered her face and began to sob.

I passed her a Kleenex and waited.

“I fought, but he was too strong…the bruises are gone now…But I did fight.” She trailed off.

I figured I probably knew the answer, but asked anyway. “Did he rape you?”

Chuntao nodded miserably and moved to sit in her usual position, with her knees drawn up under her chin.

“Did you report it?”

“No, then my family would find out, and my dad would be dishonored. I don’t know what they would do to me.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay, but you do need to see a doctor.”

Chuntao frowned and nibbled a nail. “What if the doctor tells my parents?”

Here, I could provide reassurance. “That would be illegal. Since you’re an adult, all of your medical information is private to you. But, you do need to go…to set your mind at rest about diseases and also because you might be pregnant.”

Her shoulders slumped. “My period is late…”

Although teacher–student contact is strongly discouraged, I took her hand. “Chuntao, go to a doctor. If you’re scared, I’ll come with you.”

She held on tightly. “I…I think I’ll be alright on my own, but can I come and tell you what happens?”

My heart went out to her. “Of course, call me any time. This is my phone number; don’t be shy about using it.”

What Now?

Chuntao came to see me the following week with the news that she had not contracted an STI, but she was pregnant.

“What are you going to do? Do you need me to come with you when you talk to your parents?”

She took a deep breath. “No, I have to do it. They’d find out anyway.”

Chuntao was absent from the next two lectures. I became increasingly concerned, but could do little. The next week, she was again in class and sought me out afterward.

“Sit down. How are you? Did you tell them?”

Chuntao’s eyes welled up with tears. “I told them. Daddy wasn’t angry, but he was so sad. He said I have to get married right away to someone I don’t even know. Worse, he forced me to abort the baby.” She was silent for a time and then whispered, “That was more of a violation than the rape. I don’t know if God will ever forgive me.”

I shook my head. “You know, I always think that God must be better and not worse than people. He’s more holy, more loving, and more forgiving.”

“I hope so…”

Chuntao called me regularly for the next few years when she needed advice, reassurance, or just a listening ear. Even though she ended up dropping the course, she regularly gave me updates on how and what she was doing. Although the first marriage didn’t work out, eventually, Chuntao got married and had a baby boy. Her parents never knew the role her professor had played in her life. Being a teacher is a privilege.