A few days ago, my 3-year-old granddaughter, M, came into the room, announcing that she is carrying the doll stroller because she is very strong. I asked her if it was heavy, and she easily confessed that it is not. Since conversations with this little lady are always fun, I asked her if she knows of anything that is very heavy.
“Oh yes, Cemmy is bery, bery, heavy.” M was referring to my bulldog, Clemmy.
“Yes,” I agreed, “She is. She’s 50 pounds!”
“Can you lift her up, Grammy?” M asked.
“No, but Uncle J can. He can even carry her up the stairs!”
M looked suitably impressed, but then had to tell me something very important. “My Daddy is bery strong, too. He can lift lots of heavy things.”
I asked if he could lift Clemmy.
“Oh yes, he can even build a baffroom!” M declared, proudly.
“Wow! All by himself?”
“Yes, and he tore it down first and then built it and it works!” Then, in case I was not impressed enough, “He built two, no, three. Maybe even six!”
Well, I happen to know that my son and his wife’s home does not have six bathrooms, but I let it go. I was just so happy that this little lady holds her daddy in such high esteem. That, and her parent’s love for her, will do more than most anything to ensure her a safe and happy adulthood.
The exchange got me thinking. So much of modern television and children’s books portray fathers as incompetent and worse. Bumbling idiots that need their children’s help and wisdom, if you like. But, what I see in my family is anything but that. The fathers are fully engaged, productive, prayerful, loving men. Not one of them is perfect, but they all have my utmost respect.
I remember my daughter addressing one of her little ones, who was fully immersed in a foot-stamping tantrum, saying, “You can be angry. You can be sad. But, you cannot be disrespectful.” Such wisdom!
Scripture tells us that we must honor our fathers and mothers, if we want to live long in the land. It is the pivotal commandment, situated right between how we have to treat God and how we should treat people. And it’s for our own good. Actually, God is a loving Father, and ALL the commandments are for our own good.
There are no conditions on this respect for parents. The Bible doesn’t say that parents should only be honored if they are kind, hard-working, or good-looking. On the other hand, it does tell parents not to frustrate their children and to bring them up in the fear of the Lord. But, the respect due parents is not dependent upon their behavior.
Okay, my husband and I took in enough young people to know that not all parents do a great job. We certainly were never perfect. Moreover, some parents are addicts; some are neglectful; some are abusive; some are cruel. There are times when children have to be protected from their parents. There are even times when the child needs to be told that they should not go near them. But, for the good of the child, there are never times when the child should be taught or allowed to disrespect them.
So, parents, let’s teach our children that respect is important. Help them to distinguish between expressing anger and sadness and being disrespectful. Protect those impressionable little ones from watching shows and reading books that portray parents as idiots. And, most of all, teach them that God’s instructions are there for our own good